Enneagram 2
Core Fear: Being unwanted or unloved
Core Desire: To be needed
Overview
Heart Triad
Enneagram 2s are in the Heart Triad, which means they value adaptability, emotional intelligence, interpersonal dynamics, & relationships. Heart triad numbers (2, 3, 4) walk into a room and see how themselves and others are interconnected. When a 2 walks into a room, they often immediately take stock of their relationship with each person in the room.
Must earn being loved
2s want to be loved above all else. They feel as if being loved is something they must be worthy of. They often respond to others' needs before the person even knows that they need something. It feels good to a 2 to be able to take care of people, but underlying this care is a deep and unspoken fear of not being worthy of love if they are not constantly taking care of others.
Responsive Stance
2s are in the responsive stance, which means that they have an external reference point. This makes them highly responsive to their environment and often want it to be a certain way before they can feel good. 2s are oriented towards others and often find themselves responding to the feelings and actions of others in an attempt to offer help and personal care.
Enneagram 2
Enneagram 2s are people who believe that they must act a certain way in order to earn affection and love from others. They are people-oriented and responsive to their environment and the people around them. 2s often find themselves caring for others and responding to needs before they are even said out loud. This can cause 2s to have an almost supernatural ability to care for others without even being asked.
At their best, Enneagram 2s are loving and helpful, with a strong orientation towards true hospitality and care for others. They are people who find genuine happiness in altruistic behavior and sacrificing for others . At their worst, they can be martyrs and unable to admit that they, too, have needs.
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All 2s struggle with connecting to their own feelings. 2s feel others' feelings before their own, which means that 2s often feel obligated to respond when somebody in the room is having a bad day or needs taken care of. 2s can respond to this urge without even thinking, causing them to sometimes butt into people's lives without permission. 2s struggle with the fear that if they do not respond to others, others won't need them and therefore will have no reason to love them or keep them around. However, it also means that they are wonderful caregivers for people who are too afraid to ask for help when they need it. 2s are often found in care-giving professions, such as teaching, nursing, and hospitality.
In stress, Enneagram 2s move to 8. This causes them to quickly put up the personal boundaries that they are usually missing, which can cause them to come across as rude, uncaring, and mean. As this is such a contrast to their normal behavior, it can be quite a shock to those around them.​
In security, 2s move to 4. This allows them to access their personal feelings, which they usually avoid out of fear that indulging their personal wants and needs would cause others to not need them and therefore not love them. What 4 offers to 2s is a genuine connection to themselves, allowing them to take from the world just as much as they give to it.