Enneagram 6
Motivation: To be safe
Sometimes better thought of as a motivation to be “sure”, 6s are people who are looking for their life to be under their own control and to feel safe from the unexpected nature of the world. They highly value community and loyalty, believing that safety can be found in the presence of others and the strong bond that keeps us all connected. They are often the people at the center of their own community, be that their family, school, neighborhood, or company. They can often be found organizing events to bring different people together or making sure that everyone feels at home. Emotional connection is important, and they feel very strongly about promoting trust and honesty within their chosen group of people.
Interestingly, 6s are the most complicated number on the Enneagram because there are 1,000 different ways to present as a 6. Many 6s do not look similar to each other, and the nature of a 6 is to reject any information that does not feel certain and trustworthy. Therefore, a 6 who is just starting to find their Enneagram type may look at another 6, decide that they are very different from them, and reject 6 as a possible number for themselves.
The only thing that connects all 6s is their search for certainty and their multi-scenario planning - but that can show up in a million different ways.
Center: Head
Head triad number (5, 6, 7) all have a general attitude of unwariness towards the uncertainties that life brings with it. Behind this unwariness is a fear of being overtaken or overwhelmed by the world.
6s combat this fear by attempting to turn everything “certain”. They value trust and honesty very highly because emotional honesty allows them to know what everyone is thinking about a situation. They also have a complicated relationship with authority; they want to find someone to trust but also have a hard time trusting someone if that person proves themselves to be not as intelligent or emotionally aware as the 6 initially judged them to be.
Being a number in the head triad is why 6s are assigned the stereotype of the “Devil’s Advocate”. 6s feel more secure when they are sure that all possible pitfalls have been thought about and secured against. In company meetings, they are often the people who point out the flaws in the new plan in an effort to keep the team on track. At home, they can be the parent who finds themselves overwhelmed with the emotional load of noticing the hardships their children are facing and feeling alone in their fight against it.
Stance: Reactive
Reactive numbers (1, 2, 6) are all thinking repressed and have an external reference point. For a 6, this means that they often trust their subjective view of a situation over the objective facts - although the hardwiring of a 6 makes it hard to distinguish the two, so they may think of themselves as objective people. They are also tuned in to the outside world and are affected by what goes on around them.
In real life, this often shows up as a need for control or, at least, information. 6s want to be aware of every aspect of a situation so that they feel best equipped to handle it. Lying, deceit, and image-crafting feels very unsafe to a 6, so they often find themselves poking and prodding at other people to bring out that person’s true thoughts and feelings (which may be mistaken for placement in the heart center, but is markedly different). 6s have no choice but to be affected by their environment, which means they find it hard to stay away when someone needs help or when they feel like something might go wrong.
Vice: Fear
It is interesting that fear is the vice of 6s since they are in the head triad. If 6s are so affected by fear as to name it their vice, why not also give that label to 5s and 7s? Some people name the 6 vice as “anxiety” over fear, but I feel that fear is more accurate.
The vice for 6s is fear because 6s have the strongest need for certainty and guidance. 5s do not need certainty, they just need information. 7s also do not search for certainty but rather they guard themselves against uncertainty with escape and experience. 6s, on the other hand, are knee-deep in uncertainty and trying to combat it in any way possible. 6s are so afraid of feeling afraid that they will do anything in their power to unmask uncertainty so that they feel prepared for it. 6s can also present as overly “counter phobic”, meaning that some 6s rush towards their fear rather than away from it. Both reactions, however, indicate an overwhelming wish to be rid of fear.